Sometimes, I really hope I can read people's mind. To see what they think, whether if they are telling the truth or not. Building a trust is very important, at the same time, very hard to achieve too.

Sometimes I hope I can wash out of everything. Everyone can leave me alone, stop relying on me, hoping that I'm not always the one initiating, leading and everything. It's so tiring. I'm just like my tortoise, carrying weights around, getting slower by speed, from time to time.

Someone once told me that the way I talked to my friends on phone are weird. It's always about project or school work. It's never about others other than these 2. I also wondered why. Maybe poly friends wont be as close as secondary friend. They always said that poly friends are not reliable and dependable. I wonder why. I missed Secondary school life. Everytime I would reminisce the past, and always regretted why I didn't contact the rest.

I just missed.... everything.