I stared at blogger for very long, looking very lost. I don't know what to write, I dont't know how to pen down my thoughts. I don't know how to express my feelings. All I know was, I should shut my mouth.

But it wasn't totally my fault.

He said that he's trying to quit smoking and he was irritated by my whinings. Did I whine alot? Or should I stop whining so that I wouldn't complain and then we would have peace? Things went on in a different way ever since the patch up.

If he hadn't did something which made me felt insecure, now I wouldn't be like that. I hope I can stop being too concern. Stop thinking of him so that I would not whine and whine. But I know I can't stop thinking.

I guess these days I've been talking about him almost 3/4 of the time. Especially today when shopping time, I was like, "dave this... dave that...". Guess Jiaoni would be tired of hearing ba. But everytime I see something or go somewhere, his name would come out of my mouth automatically.

I know I never think before I say. Thats why I hurt him. I know I shouldn't say that. But, it's just making me feel it that way. I want to behave like a normal couple. But things didn't go that way.

I don't know what to do. Serious.

心里有一阵一阵的刺痛，酸溜溜的感觉。