Emotional

Depressed much. I don't know what to do :( I feel like crying now.

the last straw

That's it. I'm not gonna let it take control of me. I should be the one in control of the whole situation. Thank you for slapping me real hard. Finally woke up from the fantasy. Now, all I wanna do is to lead my happy life. Be in control of my life and not get messed up and fucked up with it.

I wanna be like Christian Grey. Be a control freak! WHAHAHAHAHA

PS: Christian Grey is so cool. <3

Finally

Will be back in 7 days time! Taiwan here I come!

Counting down

Awesome much! 2 more weeks and I can go to Taiwan!!! :D time really pass damn fast! I'm super excited now! :D all the research and stuff made me wanna fly there like right now!

Why wasn't I born in taiwan?

it's party time

Exams are finally over! THANK GOD! AND FINALLY I GRADUATED!!! :D :D :D

But.

I went back to the previous company for temp assignment. Hee. I missed my colleagues and they missed me too :P everyone other than my department were surprised that I came back. It was heart warming seeing them :)

It's gonna be 3 months full of lovesss, funssss and everything nice. Except for SC. LOL.

and.. 1 Month later, I'll be at taiwan! yayness! awesomee~~~~

That's what I need the most

Exam has been killing me way too much. Even my frens said I look haggard. With at least 13 hours of study everyday, why wouldn't I look older? :/

The eve of marketing paper, I broke down. I cried a total of 4 times. 1 at Starbucks, 1 on the bus, the other at home :( of course mum and bro got so shocked because I cried too hard. Way too hard. I cried as if someone impt left me. But I had very good encouragement from people who love me! :) mum did a lot for me. Super grateful to her :)

Everyone will check on me and see what I was doing. Really really felt the love! :) and nevertheless, I will not let them down. I believe I can do it! Challenge accepted for the 2 papers later on! \m/

Ps: sorry to those who I have flood their twitter timeline and fb for all the rantings!

Exam

Exam stress!

I'm experiencing GAS

In last stage, which is exhaustion stage: break down!

Uol why u so hard :(

Unlocked achievement - friendship

After last night, I have a lot of thoughts to myself. An eventful happening night. I seriously thought it through. I felt the heart pain, heartaches and everything else I used to go through. - the pain.

"Friend - Noun:
A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. "

The above was taken from the net.

I've live for 22 years which is close to 1/4 century. Friends are always my weakness. Even up till now, I tend to get upset over friends from time to time. But definitely grew up from some past mistakes. Friends are friends. Acquaintances are acquaintances.best friends and good friends are different too.

My definition
Acquaintance: a person who I know but do not exchange any bits of understanding

Friend: a person who exchange values and have the basic level of understanding for each other.

Good friend: A person who helps you out when you need it, no matter how it makes them look.
A good friend is someone you shouldn't have to worry about your secrets that you told him or her.
A good friend encourages you and tell you truthful things.
A good friend do not judge how you wear or how awful you look.
A good friend isn't necessary of the same sex.
Time is not the key determinant to determine if you are good friend with them.
A good friend listens, not hear.
A good friend will be harsh to you if he or she thinks that you are not doing the right thing.
A good friend can feel your emotions and feelings even when you said nothing.
A good friend know what you like, what you don't like and the little things that he or she notice that other people dont.
A good friend would not say superficial things to you.
And definitely, a good friend would not bear grudge even if they might be pissed at you at that point of time.

Best friend: that one person with the qualities of a good friend plus doing crazy things with you. Even though he or she know that it's wrong. For instance, a friend will bail you out but your best friend will sit with you and face all the consequences together and says, "hey we screwed it up!" (okay, it's a lousy example but the meaning is there) the mutual understanding for each other will be of higher level. Your best friend don't have to stay by your side every time but you know when you guys meet up, you still have tons of things to tell each other. You laugh together, cry together, jealous with each other, angry over small little thing but patch up in a split second. Your best friend will give you a hug when things go wrong. And.. Your best friend know what you are thinking by exchanging glances!

My definition of friendship.

Men are from mars?

Sometimes I wonder, what is love to guys? Why some guys could change girlfriends like changing clothes? One after the other, it's either the guy lack of love, need companion as they would die without girls or just pure desperate?

I find it disgusting to see that the girl beside the guy has been changing. Whatever happen to "I love you"? It's just like saying "sorry" or "thank you" without much significance. "sorry" and "thank you" have become one of the words that has been widely abused. When you knocked into someone, the immediate response is to say "sorry". It's not from the bottom of the heart anymore.

Same goes to I love you. Whatever happen to I love you? The meaning of that 3 words no longer contain significance to the person who said it out. At least that's what I think from my point of view.

"I always love you" it's bullshit. But girls tend to fall for it. I used to be one of the victim. Now I'm not. Girls are suckers for sweet coating words. They are easy prey when it comes to this. Guys always said they don't understand girls. I think it's guys who are even harder to understand. What were they thinking when they told the new girlfriend that "I love you" when they may have just bid goodbye to a few year relationship? Doesnt it sound dubious when they can quickly adapt to a new girl and "love" that girl that fast? I guess that's the difference between men and women in general.

But sometimes I do admire these type of guys because they can pick up themselves real fast. However, the mere thought of the promises they have made really turns me off. This post is definitely biased towards guys probably because I haven met someone that can change my opinion of guys. It somehow makes me wonder do good guys still exist?

Someone once told me that even the most honest guy would cheat you somehow. It may not be physical, but mentally. I guess the degree of betrayal differs from one person to the other.

How should I learn to love someone again?

Ps: exam is round the corner. That explains my hormone imbalance ><

Platonic relationship

Few days ago, a Good friend showed me an article on platonic relationship. It sets me thinking whether male-female can really sustain pure friendship. Is it human's nature that whenever a guy and a girl get closer together, the 2 of them must have something going on, either one of them is interested in the other party? Can't it be just pure friendship?

I guess in this society, people tend to associate guy-girl relationship as just romantic relationship. When two "good" friends of opposite sex get together, and the way they interact and care about the other party becomes more than just mere friends, outsiders start to think of them differently.

"Are you guys together? You sure you don't have feeling for him/her?" Was what people usually asked. Then, it may seems like the abnormal ones are the 2 of them because they feel that they are just pure good friends that can connect with each other at the same frequency.

Clearly, people do not have enough information and exposure to such relationship and that their thinking tend to be much shallow. Of course, people will be able to understand when they have experienced it.

Initially, I do have doubts on platonic relationship as I always feel that if the guy show care and concern more than just friends, they are more likely inclined towards you. But many instances proved to me that, yes, it does exist. Pure friendship. Therefore, I laughed at my shallowness and stupidity back then.

This topic has been argued by many people and it's among people's hot topic. Definitely it's good to be able to have a good friend of opposite sex to share their thoughts and feelings about this relationship.

Now, who share the same thought as me?

Emotional

I'm starting to get emotional! That's really a goooooooood thing! Have been telling my friends that I wanted to have a good cry but somehow tears won't want to come out. Past few weeks seems like a zombie going school aimlessly and all I did was: wake up>school > study > eat > study > home > sleep

And the cycle repeats everyday. School has become my 2nd home. Now my bed is a luxury to me :( this is so bad.

But good thing is that my emotions are back! But. I still don't have the feel to cry. Oh no :(

I need to relieve stress.

Nil

If social network doesn't exist, will people still remember my birthday?

Double two

Another chapter begins.

Age is just a number. That's what I told myself. It's just another year to go through the same cycle. Grow older. Grow prettier/mature/uglier. Grow fatter/skinnier. Grow wiser/stupider .

All in all. I'm so not happy to be 22.

And.. I hate it that you are not there to wish me anymore. I really miss you. I teared when I thought of you today.

The emptiness.

Leap year

I'm glad that there's leap year this year cause I get to have an extra day for study ~ which means the whole of my morning to afternoon was spent with my books. That's the life of uol student!

It doesn't feel like a special day. Though many of my friends went out with their beloved!

In fact I did went out too! Pleasant meet up with Geoksui :) super love the present she gave me :D It was a very sweet present with a self made card! Definitely love it a lot! Thanks dearie!

So how do you spend your leap year/day?

Blank

Prelim is coming :( which means exam is waving at me! :( :( but on a lighter note, TW trip is nearer and nearer! Something which I look forward to :D

But. This also means I have to plan for my first career. My future. My starting point of the society.

Gosh.

Living in my own world

I've been living in my own world for the past few weeks. It was only today when shihui said prelim is next week that I realized I have lost track of time!

Goodness. Where's my heart and soul gone to? Now I've got to pull it back real hard :(

Dumping ground

I'm starting to treat this space as a dumping ground. Emotional dumping ground indeed.

Saw from somewhere saying, "everyone can be a blogger but how many can maintain the blog 365days?"
Yeah I really agreed on that. For that, I'm not exactly a blogger and def a very seasonal one.

So here I am, trying to vent my frustration here again.

Maybe it's exam stress.

Time can reveal a person's true color

Since few years ago, I went through many ordeals. From then, I told myself to cherish the people around me. But it always takes two hands to clap. I reached out my hand to people I care but not many raise up their hands. Especially when I found out some ugly truth these few days.

'Blood is thicker than water' Yes, I agree cause they're your next-of-kin but how many really treat you as part of them? It really left me deep impression about them. Sometimes I wonder, is it because I didn't understand them well enough that's why I couldn't agree to what they are doing now? When you put in effort to help them, to treat them good, they don't even give a damn about you. I don't ask for anything in return, I just don't like my effort not being appreciated, making me feel like a fool. 

I told myself umpteen times not to be soft-hearted to these heartless people anymore. But my heart don't listen to my brain. That's why I'm always at a loss. 

After some thoughts, I shall not give a damn to these people anymore. It's their loss. Not mine cause I've done my best. If they don't respect me, why should I? :) 

and..

They're OUT.

(It will be the last time I'm talking about them)